So putting Poppy to sleep in her own crib the other night turned out to be traumatizing for everyone involved. As soon as she was in there, the screaming started - she skipped the crying and just went straight to screaming. I held her hand and sat right next to the crib trying to calm her down, but she wanted none of that - she wanted out! But this is what I was prepared for, so I got out my watch and tried my best to try to soothe her. 35 minutes later, we were both in tears and I immediately took her out of the crib, apologized profusely and gave her ice water for her poor little throat. We laid down on my bed and within minutes she was asleep. Now you may be thinking that I'm a big wimp and that I need to just let her cry, and if I were not an adoptive parent, I would agree with you. However, being the adoptive parent that I am, the entire time she screamed, everything within me was screaming that this was all wrong! This was going against everything that I have read and learned about attachment parenting.
And that is why this afternoon my new little family went to an appointment to see a highly reputable attachment therapy psychotherapist. And what a relief it is that we were able to see him so quickly and that his office is in our area. He was absolutely amazing and basically said everything we needed to hear. Nothing new or earth-shattering, he just reminded us of just how much trauma our little girl has gone through in her short little life. He said that at this point in our attachment process, the last thing we should be worrying about is getting her into her crib. Poppy has spent her entire life sleeping on a mattress on the floor along side her foster mother. So if it comforts her to sleep next to us, then that is what we need to do, for however long she needs it. He also went over different reasons for why she might not be sleeping through the night, all of which should go away with time. He gave us a bunch of book recommendations that I will start diving into tomorrow. It was also re-assuring to hear that it's totally normal that she really isn't going to anyone other than me, sometimes not even Marc. He gave us some tips on how to deal with that, but basically he said we need to relax and give her time. And that is exactly what we plan on doing.